If only you knew how long I waited for you.
If only you knew how much you mean to me.
If only you knew how special you are to me.
If only you knew how much I love you.
I don't even know how much I love you..
There isn't anything remotely close to what I can describe how you make me feel.
You make me the happiest.. you make me feel alive. You make me strong. You make me fight the things I've always wanted to fight..
But-
You also make me the saddest.. you make me feel like I'm dying inside. You make me the weakest of them all.. weak.. to the point that I'm scared of myself.
weak..
to the point that I feel like I'm already dead.
If only you knew how painful this is..
If only..
you love me like I love you..
If only trust issues wasn't our issue...
This whole relationship wrecked wouldn't happen in a blink of an eye.
2018.. can't you just fuck off already?
I thought 2018 was the beginning of something. I thought.
Clearly.. the beginning of 2018 is just the end of something meaningful to me. I want it to be the beginning of something better. The learning curves...
But obviously,
You weren't learning anything. I hurt you. So, you decided to do the same.. except a bit more torturous.. You decided to wreck me instead. So, there's that.
We both hurt each other.
If only I knew how to fix this..
If only I didn't fucked up..
If only I knew what goes on your mind when you decided to do the same..
If only I realized how much I love you.
If only there's a way to forget things and start again..
But there isn't anything we can do about it except to fix ourselves.. our ego just showed us that we're both immature in this.
Oh-
There is a thing that'll help..
It's called time. Time heals everything they said..
But yea.. timing's a bitch.
